u8ashark

Dear Nugget,

Today you turn one month old and there is so much I would like to write here except I’m too tired and need more sleep than you’re giving me to function. I’ll try to hit the highlights and if that isn’t good enough for you later then just know it’s all your fault. I still love you anyway.

In a nutshell I’ll have to say I’ve never done any of this before and you’re my learning curve; I’m getting a crash course in mommyhood! Of course, you’re an excellent teacher and are doing quite well until your instruction manual arrives in the mail. I’ll have to check on a tracking number because I haven’t received it yet.

It’s amazing how much there is to learn about babies! The one thing we noticed right away is equally credentialed people will tell you the exact opposite thing to do, and insist upon it beign “the best” way. One big surprise of parenthood is that “sleeping through the night” means only missing one feeding — so you get like 4-5 hours sleep. I don’t consider that “sleeping through the night!” I think parents don’t tell you the real deal because they don’t want to scare you away from having kids. It’s the question we’re asked the most often by parents with children of their own. They ask us while tilting their head to the side and slightly nodding as if to say we’re part of the club now and as soon as you start sleeping through the night for us our pledge initiation will be over.

The thing I can’t get over is your tiny, perfect little apple-shaped head peeking out from the top of the swaddle blanket and disappearing again under your little hat. When they cleaned you up, wrapped you up, and put you back in my arms, for just a moment there I understood why Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their baby “Apple” and although your name is less likely to get you teased on the playground, you’ll be spelling it to people for life. I find just telling people “it’s a family name” works best. We didn’t name you “Hercules” as my father suggested.

I was completely enamored with your big toe which was a flat and perfectly round like a disc. We don’t have have a picture because it was the first thing on your body that plumped up.

Your daddy is completely in love with you and has been since you locked eyes with him in the delivery room. I think you have a good head start on the whole wrapped around finger thing. Your smallest digit must be throbbing.

Christmas was about staying put this year. If family wanted to see you they had to come . . . and bring food if they’d like to eat since the only meals I’m making right now are for you. I was definitely not hosting a potluck dinner on Christmas Day as your grandmother suggested a couple hours after I gave birth.

The 1st week home from the hospital we were on our own because it was Christmas week. The next week was a flurry of activity as people came by to drop off food and “ooh” and “aah” over you. Because of newborn jaundice we had to visit the Dr.’s office when you were only four days old. To our relief you’d gained a half a pound in two days and were looking well on your way towards recovery.

On the 3rd of January your daddy went back to work and your momma was on her own for the first time. Momma took pictures of you to e-mail to daddy because he missed you like crazy. I would swaddle you up and lay you on my lap to sleep while I answered my e-mail.

You are really training us well. We’re learning that you cry whenever you want something — even if that’s just some holding time. We don’t really get much else done and sleep is intermittent. Just when we think you’re going to start sleeping through the night you’ll wake up every 3 hours like last night. Hopefully you’ll give us a break from our sleep depravation training soon. We’re looking forward to when you’re old enough to take out in public so you can show off how well you have us trained.

Your skill set is impressive for a newborn. I didn’t know you were the wonder child till I took you for your first well baby visit. I just assumed all newborns could change the oil in their parents car by the second week. You turn in the direction of my voice and your daddy’s voice. If someone else is holding you and we start talking, you’ll twist your body to try to find us. Your baby coos are sweet and soft and we live for your smiles. We especially love your smiles in response to our own so you’ve probably noticed your mamma and daddy staring at you for long periods of time with dopey grins on our faces and talking to one another out of the sides of our mouths saying things like, “try to make her smile; I can’t get her to smile this time.” You’ve been really trying to hold your head up like a champ although we always provide support for you anyway. Here is a picture of you at 10 days old holding up your own head completely unsupported.

You have burping skills that would impress Homer Simpson and will work really hard to give us one when we say, “can you burp for me? Give momma a burp. Burp like Homer Simpson, sweetie.” Your farts rival those of the baddest, bean-eating cowboy. I say ‘better out of the body then inside your tummy making you cry.’ The best part is you temporarily stop breastfeeding while you fart because inherently you understand, unlike those ladies on the cell phone in the public restrooms, that some activities just shouldn’t occur simultaneously. You obviously got your farting and burping skills from your daddy because your momma doesn’t fart or burp . . . ever.

You have this Popeye thing going where you only open one eye at a time. You’re doing way better than most kitties who can’t open up thir eyes at all.

Lactation says you have a short frenulum and we need to practice getting you to stick out your tongue. I was shocked when I first stuck out my tongue at you and you studied me for a bit and them mimicked the same. You were only two weeks old! How many other things have you picked up from us already and will be showing off later? To make sure I was spelling “frenulum” correctly, Momma just Googled the word and clicked on the first link. Apparently there are lots of different kinds of frenulums. What I saw made me realize momma is going to have to forbid you from Googling anything for the first 18 years of your life.

You sleep a lot but not quite through the night yet. You’ve dropped your 1 a.m. feeding so momma and daddy are now working off of 4 hours of sleep. You can nap through most anything including the phone ringing however, you get startled when the pup barks. I started reinforcing the trick I taught her while I was pregnant of “no barking” while bringing my fingers and thumb together like I’m wearing a sock puppet.

You can lift your head briefly when on your tummy and can even turn your head to one side. During tummy time your daddy and I will lie on either side of you like giant cheerleaders egging you on to turn your head. For your very fist tummy time you pushed up once and then collapsed into the mat asleep.

I just adore how you will slowly extend your left leg and hold it suspended in the air. One of the cutest things you do is switch which leg you’re holding out with a little kick. It looks like you’re driving a car so I’ve nicknamed your left leg “shift” and your right leg “vrumm vrummmm.” We make a popular game of you “driving the car.”

The biggest surprise about motherhood so far is that it’s so much easier than I thought it would be at this point. Taking care of the pup as a baby puppy was much, much harder than this. I was absolutely certain that this period in your life would be something I would just have to “get through.” I’m sure there are surprise hard parts to come but everything is so smooth (other than the thrush) and I thought I’d be exhausted and tearing my hair out at this point. However, I feel great and I’m loving it.

Your aunt Holli just called us on the phone to tell us that Gabba just died tonight exactly one month from the day of your birth, and although we knew it was coming it’s still something we have to work through our systems before we can comprehend it’s full emotional meaning. Your great GREAT grandmother is the only person on this whole, wide planet that we TOOK you to visit after your birth. When you get to be a great great grandmother and become the matriarch of a family you get to have very special extra privileges and consideration. Upon discharge from the hospital we drove directly to her house and mamma sat on one bun cheek while Gabba held you. We had a hard time getting her to look up at us because she only had eyes for you. She had never laid eyes on some of her great great grandchildren who live in other states but since we didn’t know how much time we had left with her we didn’t want to wait long. We are so fortunate that it was a lucid day. Now that we know our time left with her was very short the pictures of you two together are that much more precious. I could write something really semi-profound about the Circle of Life but birth and death are just two of the events that will come and go many times over and will be important events shaping your life. By the time you’re old enough to read this letter many other people who knew her well, and better than I, will certainly have expressed to you a bit of the remarkable person you were so fortunate to have met.

with all my love, kiddo,
momma

Sara “Gabba” Elizabeth Sheats
Born: February 24, 1910
Deceased: January 19, 2006

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 19th, 2006 at 6:09 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.