Dear Nugget,
It’s a whole month later and still no new teeth? What is the deal? You’ll cry and be in pain and momma will do everything she knows to soothe you and make the pain feel better. Can’t you even have the courtesy to cut a new tooth for all momma’s trouble? Come on, just one little tooth. Give it to momma. It will make her feel so much better about all the pain you’ve been going through. Like the pain is for a REASON. That God isn’t cruel for not making the holes pre-drilled for you because you MUST break BONE through FLESH. For a purpose! Moma’s not asking you to cut three at the same time like the last two teething sessions you’ve had. Although with the amount of pain you’ve been in momma should expect to see a full set right about now. Just one little tooth. Just one. Come on, you can do it.
You’re still not walking which is just fine by momma. It’s apparently a big concern to strangers who all declare the pre-one-years-old month that THEIR child or grandperfectnessâ„¢ began walking. It’s obvious that you don’t have any developmental disabilities — everything is working just fine physically, so momma’s not concerned with the exact date you’d like to start tottering around. You can do it whenever you like, thank you, as long as you get it in before Kindergarden. Seriously, you’re not even late with it right now. Unlike other things in life, this one won’t go on your permanent record. Momma will, however, insist that you put it at the bottom of your professional resume and when prospective employers ask you some day in interviews to “name the biggest personal challenge or weakness that you’ve worked hard to overcome.” Instead of “workaholic, but I’ve yet to overcome this problem” she’ll expect you’ll give them the detailed description of your early developmental milestones and how you were a constant disappointment to people you didn’t even know but then you began walking JUST LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO when you were DARN AND GOOD WELL READY.
One incentive for you must surely be the kitchen pantry. You love the kitchen pantry and especially the food organizer on the pantry door. You love to clang the bottles together because when you clang the bottle of extra virgin olive oil against the bottle of basalmic vinegar it makes a clanging noise and there isn’t much you like more in the world than clanging objects so they make clanging noises. You also like swinging the door back and forth on itself so the bottles all clang together and make clanging noises. You also still love to push the chairs across the hardwood. You’re only limited by the lenth of the rooms and Momma’s convinced that if our house contained a mile long length of unobstructed hardwood, every 20 minutes she would find you stuck at one end.
You love to crawl and use quadruped locomotion as your primary means of transportation. Just to give your crawling an extra sensory experience, you put a ring from your Rock and Stack in each hand and crawl across the floor making clanging noises as the ring contacts the hardwood. For why you love to do this so much, see above. One of your new favorite pastimes is getting the pacifier and putting it in momma’s mouth. For some reason this cracks you up to no end. Momma only lets you put the ‘wrong’ end in her mouth and then she’ll lean over and pop the ‘right’ end in yours. What fun we’ve had doing this over and over. Every morning when she comes in to get you up for the day, momma finds you standing up in your crib waiting for her. Anyone who wonders why people would ever want to have kids what with all the late night feedings and diapers and crying, hasn’t seen the look on your face in the mornings when you first see momma’s. If you can’t cut me a tooth, thanks for at least throwing momma the happy bone.
Love you bunches,
Momma